I am coming

Hmm another bug to reproduce! Another customer bug, and no steps to repeat. I have no idea how DHCP works. Until the recent past I used to be very excited about new stuff coming my way. I would take it up as a challenge. I would want to learn, know more! Where has that fire gone? Damn, now I am looking for steps to repeat. I am like, who cares what this router does and does not do? (I forget that it is my little knowledge in this field which puts the food in my plate everyday.) But I want to be true to myself after maybe a long long time. I wish life was simple. As a kid, I knew exactly what I wanted. But then this world taught me to compromise! And now I have compromised so much, that I have lost myself in this world. Whatever I do is for this world. I have been reduced from a human to just another tool/cog/piece/flowing stream/wind or a mindless element of nature. Which is so not what I should be! :-(

So what do I do now? hmmm.. if I think what I do is not worthwhile, the next question to be asked would be, then what is? He he he.. it is all a bit more clear to me now. :-) Nothing is worthwhile. Even if you are the richest/learned/knowledgeable/intelligent person in the world you have to die one day - oopsie daisy, is that another thing this world has taught me? maybe one can survive and be young forever. That said, being learned/knowledgeable is an achievement in itself, and something worth living for! Some meat in a life which would otherwise be so dull. I tried doing absolutely nothing for half a day. And boy, I was like super bored. I wanted to jump off the office building just for sheer excitement. So I need to do something with this life. But what If I am to do something it better be very good. I once told someone that if you keep looking at the bigger picture, you ignore the small corner that you own. So I guess taking that further, I will strive to make my small corner a masterpiece :-).

Anyway, someone said the process is more important than the end. (I guess it was MK Gandhi). I disagree. I think both are equally important. But again, what is it that really gets me going? What is it that will make my corner a masterpiece? Will knowing networking and programming make me passionate enough? Are these my reasons for living? Does it make me happy? Do I need to be a family man to be happy? Do I need to live a superb lifestyle and maintain cleanliness and orderliness to produce a masterpiece? These can get me a beautiful picture. But for something beyond beauty, I need passion! What am I passionate about? That's the question!

Is it money? Hmm no... I think I have enough, and will keep getting more than enough, to have a decent quality of life. Anyway, earning money, I have found out is like an endless race between 2 donkeys - money and satisfaction. They keep running laps on a circuit with no hope for the checkered flag. Is it amassing knowledge? hmm.. that seems to be a pretty good option to me :-). Let’s see now. Hmmm... Yes I think this appears to be the best option. Some time back I decided to increase the options in my life. I took up sports like tennis. Took interest in classical music - both eastern and western, that was a big bore, it is boring. Reading stories and novels and history has always been interesting (though only for leisure). I used to love mathematics, not so long ago. And now, I have lost touch with math too :-(. I think I will try to revive this option. Muahahahahah. I think I know. It is knowledge which calls me. I am coming dude. I am coming... muahahahahahahahah

Back to that customer bug I go. I have an idea. I think I can revive this math option through my work. Dude I just got a patent idea.. (Actually it was always there, I think I have just motivated myself to take it up with passion). Guess what the idea might be? It is something which will help me to make code bug free. So here's what I got to do now. Get this knowledge of the network done, get it over with first. It is just a tidbit in my scheme of things now. Let’s say by end of this week? Monday is going to be a new day for me... I am coming dude... I am coming.